The irony of the crash I experienced is that on the surface I appeared to have my life in order. I was at the top of my game in my corporate career, I had many meaningful friendships and was in a great romantic relationship. What could be wrong right?

In what was supposed to be one of my final years as a Director before my name was put forward for admission into the partnership at my accounting firm, I was selected to attend a prestigious global partnership development program for senior managers.To put it into perspective on a global oasis there were 150 people chosen to attend with 9 representatives from Canada. The company at the time had over 200,000 employees.

I was super excited to attend and knew that this was an indication that it was only a matter of time before I would gain admission into the partnership. So I thought.

One of the first questions that was asked of us at the conference was “What is your biggest fear coming into this program?” I wasn’t sure why but the only logical answer for me at the time was that I was not living life according to my core values. Truthfully at the time I could not even really articulate what those values were but my gut was telling me I was not being true to myself. Now if this did not give me pause to reflect on why I felt this way, we then placed our responses into a hat and everyone picked one out of the hat at random and read out the response. What was crazy about this exercise was that I was seated in the last seat, and it actually got all the way around and I read out my own response. The universe and god work in mysterious ways is all I could think of when this happened.

Be aware of potential bias that you have. Rather than ignoring these biases or only speaking with individuals that share these same biases, explore them with others such as a therapist, or other trusted individual. Seek out connections with individuals that would interact with you free from judgement as this can be a scary topic to explore and vulnerability can be difficult, especially for men. This in itself is a bias and stereotype that men do not like to show vulnerability, but in my experience it is difficult for many of us as we think it shows weakness.

Biases can come in both the conscious and unconscious forms. An exploration of one’s belief system can help break down how many of these biases have come about and help you begin the process of understanding your own masculinity. Similar to the above discussion, find individuals that you can trust with information you will be disclosing to them. THe reality is if you speak to people that will judge you for your beliefs, this could do more harm than good in trying to understand it.

Autenticity in your conversations will help to build trust and begin the process of exploring how your beliefs and biases are impacting your mental health. If you do not have people in your life you can completely trust with this information, find a therapist that works for you. Not all therapists may be able to explore your masculinity in a way that works for you. Know that this is a personal journey and you should be able to move at your own pace.

As I mentioned above my mom is my hero. The point I wanted to highlight here is that bias is not a linear thing. There could be many relationships in your life that are strong with women but there could still be bias that hinders your ability to fully manage your mental health and interaction with others. Be curious and be open to the exploration of this complicated topic. In recent years the topic of toxic masculinity has been an important one. But do not allow the labelling of this to distract you from the goal of exploring it for yourself, those you love and for your own mental health. Be bold in your exploration, you got this!

I read a book by Justin Baldoni called Undefining Masculinity. What I liked about the concept about undefining it is that as a man it is okay to explore what your masculinity means to you and you do not have to succumb to what others think it should be. Be brave in your approach and find the beliefs and values that work for you and your family.

Finally, I would encourage you to speak to as diverse a population as possible. For example, I have traditionally thought of men and women in the binary form. I must admit I am not well versed in the LGBTQ+ issues faced, and it is an area that I hope to be able to challenge my own beliefs and biases on when it comes to these populations. Growth is a continuous process and I am far from perfect. My belief in life is that everyone deserves to be loved and treated with respect regardless of what their makeup is.

After university I was fortunate to land my dream job. I landed the position of associate at one of the leading professional services firms. For me this was a dream job as from the time I took my first accounting course in high school I knew I wanted to be an accountant. So much so, that I actually told my guidance counsellor in my final year of high school that I wanted to be an accountant and work for the very company that I was eventually hired at. I had no clue what this company really was at that time but I knew from the information I had gathered that it seemed like a cool place to work.

The company was a very prestigious position to land for a first job. The company attracted many talented applicants and a small percentage of total applicants actually landed a position with the company. It was a competitive process to gain access to the company and as our cohort of new associates began the sense of competition was apparent, at least from my vantage point.

As a child I was relatively reserved and quiet. Amongst my friend circles I came out of my shell but to most observers they would say that I was a quiet child. The time had come for me to go to university. To my mother it was a big moment for our family as she had not gone on to a post high school education and for me it was the crowning achievement of doing well in high school and bearing the fruits of my labour. As an only child of a single mother, the decision to leave Toronto and live on campus was going to be difficult for both my mother and myself. This decision both excited me and scared me at the same time as the longest I had been away from home prior to this was three days for camping trips with my scouting group.

Last week was #mentalhealthweek in Canada, and as I reflect on the status of my #mentalhealth, I am grateful for many of the strides I have made in my own recovery journey. One of the goals I set out for myself last year was to write a book that would resonate with people struggling with their own #mentalillness and family and friends wanting to understand more about what they can do to help support their loved ones. With the theme of this year's mental health week being #mystory, I thought a great way to interact with my network and begin to get my story out there was to release the chapters of my book as I write them.

Shak’s journey took a dramatic turn after he experienced his first manic episode at a PwC leadership conference that was taking place in France. Shak had to be rushed back to Toronto, where he was admitted into the emergency room at the hospital. Shak was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder soon after.