Chapter 1: Discovering the Impact of a Bipolar Disorder Diagnosis.
Welcome to my journey—a journey shaped by ambition, struggle, and ultimately, transformation. My name is Shak, and for many years, I existed in a world driven by expectations, both self-imposed and those projected by society.
I was climbing the corporate ladder at PwC, feeling the thrill of success coursing through my veins. Just months before my diagnosis, I was on the brink of becoming a partner, a goal many in my field only dared to dream about. I had worked tirelessly, sacrificing personal time and pushing myself to the limits to achieve this dream.
The pressure of a silent battle with my mental health
But beneath the surface, I grappled with intense pressure, struggling to manage the weight of my ambitions alongside a silent battle with my mental health. Each day felt like a performance; I wore a mask that hid my anxiety, the fatigue of pretending, and the fear of being unmasked. The relentless pursuit of success had me on edge, always trying to meet an unattainable standard. I was constantly comparing myself to colleagues and friends, convinced that if I faltered, I would lose everything.
The surreal moment of my Bipolar Disorder diagnosis
My world turned upside down the day I received my Bipolar Disorder diagnosis. It felt surreal, as if I was living someone else’s life—a life where my dreams were slipping through my fingers, replaced by confusion and despair. The news was crushing. How could I possibly maintain my career aspirations now? The fear of how my colleagues would perceive me gnawed at my insides. I imagined whispers in the hallways, assumptions that my capabilities were compromised by a mental illness.
For a time, I allowed fear to consume me. I was scared to speak about my struggles, believing that vulnerability would lead to judgment. The irony was that in my quest for perfection, I was only deepening my isolation, robbing myself of the support I desperately needed.
Embarking on a journey of self-discovery and self-love
Yet, this period marked the beginning of an important transformation. Though I didn’t realize it at the time, I was standing at the threshold of a new understanding—one that would not only reshape my perception of myself but also redefine how I approached the world around me. This journey was only beginning, and the lessons learned would soon become my guiding light in navigating the complexities of mental health, identity, and authenticity.
Read Chapter 2, where I share how I faced my diagnosis head-on, the challenges I encountered, and the unexpected lessons that emerged from this battle.
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Shak is pursuing his Master of Arts in Counseling Psychology (MACP) and will start his practicum in January. He's involved with the Canadian Mental Health Association and he's working on turning his blog, Bipolar Empath, into a book while managing his accounting business.
Stay tuned for more updates on Shak’s journey and the impact he continues to make in the mental health community!
